Splinters in Her Crotch

A woman from Los Angeles who was a tree hugger, a liberal Democrat, 

and an anti-hunter, purchased a piece of timberland near Colville, WA.

There was a large tree on one of the highest points in the tract. She 

wanted a good view of the natural splendor of her land so she started to 

climb the big tree. As she neared the top she encountered a spotted owl 

that attacked her.

In her haste to escape, the woman slid down the tree to the ground and 

got many splinters in her crotch. In considerable pain, she hurried to a 

local ER to see a doctor. She told him she was an environmentalist, a 

democrat, and an anti-hunter and how she came to get all the splinters.

The doctor listened to her story with great patience and then told her 

to go wait in the examining room and he would see if he could help her.

She sat and waited three hours before the doctor reappeared.

The angry woman demanded, "What took you so long?"

He smiled and then told her, "Well, I had to get permits from the 

Environmental Protection Agency, the Forest Service, and the 

Bureau of Land Management before I could remove old-growth 

timber from a "recreational area" so close to a waste treatment facility. 

I'm sorry, but due to Obama-Care they turned you down!"