Long Distance Relationships and sex

when you just can’t say goodbye to that local ass. A lot of people are quick to tell you it works, times will be rough, but eventually your boo will come back to pack you up like you’re Woody from Toy Story and you’ll live happily ever after. I’m going to be real. Woody was dropped the fuck off and got a new owner at the end of the last Toy Story and so will you.


You’re in school, you’re moving for work, you can only find pussy on the internet, etc… there are all sorts of reasons people are forced into a Long Distance Relationship, so it’s impossible to point out and focus on one. The basic idea is that you and that person are hundreds, even thousands, of miles apart. A long distance relationship is not: you live in DC and she lives in Virginia. You can walk that shit. I’m talking about real life LDRs where you would need to fly or take a road trip to visit them. Are you built for a long distance relationship, you can say dumb shit like, “Yeah, I don’t even go out much”. But it has nothing do with being social, being able to go without sex, or being a good person. It takes way more effort to date from a distance. If you like that person or think that person is the one, then end it now. For this shit to work you have to love that person and know that they are the one.

Everyone Likes To Fuck: Let’s get straight to the biggest problem in LDRs. Sex. I applaud women, most of you can go forever without sex, men aren’t built like that. There is not enough Lavish Styles porn in the world to quench the thirst for sex. It’s like Vampire Bill drinking bottles of nasty ass True Blood when he could be sucking real blood, the shit is torture. Women who agree to Long Distance Relationships have to keep one thing in mind. He’s going to fuck somebody else. Even if he doesn’t, you have to mentally prepare yourself to deal with that. If you sucker yourself into thinking, “My man’s perfect, we phone bone every night”, then you’re being naïve. The crazy thing about men is that we have ego’s that make us think that our dicks are as big as the Sears tower and our looks are flawless. A man engaging in a Long Distance Relationship is in the same boat as a woman, but they couldn’t be further apart mentally. She can be out their slinging pussy to every Omega Psi Phi on campus or confiding in Jimmy at work who’s a pro at the “Watch me fuck the new girl” game. But men rarely allow ourselves to look at the “What If” of that situation, it’s always, “She ain’t doing shit, I got her on lock”! It may be true or it may be hubris, but other than a few nasty phone calls when you don’t return his call on a Saturday night, he’s not going to trip because he THINKS you’ll never give his pussy away. Women aren’t so sure because men are known to fuck anything with breasts and a warm hole. If you’re a jealous woman, don’t get into a LDR because it will wreck your fucking head! What’s the point of calling his phone ten times in a row