The Merits of Beer

        Sometimes when I reflect on all the beer I drink, I feel
ashamed.  Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the
brewery and all of their hopes and dreams.  If I didn't drink this beer,
they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered.  I think,
"It is better to drink this beer and let their dreams come true than be
selfish and worry about my liver."
                                                                                    ~~ Babe Ruth
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            "I feel sorry for people who don't drink.  When they wake up in
the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day."

                                                                                    ~~ Lyndon B. Johnson 
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            "When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading."
                                                                                    ~~ Paul Horning
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            "24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case.  Coincidence?  I think
not."
                                                                                    ~~ H. L. Mencken   
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            "When we drink, we get drunk.  When we get drunk, we fall
asleep.  When we fall asleep, we commit no sin  When we commit no sin,
we go to heaven.  So, let's all get drunk and go to heaven!"
                                                                                    ~~ George Bernard Shaw
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            "Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.."
                                                                                    ~~ Benjamin Franklin
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            "Without question, the greatest invention in the history of
mankind is beer.  Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine
invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza."
                                                                                    ~~ Dave Barry
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            Beer: helping ugly people have sex since 3000 B.C.!
                                                                                    ~~ W. C. Fields
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            Remember "I" before "E," except in Budweiser.
                                                                                    ~~ Professor Irwin Corey
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            To some it's a six-pack, to me it's a Support Group Salvation in
a can!
                                                                                    ~~ Leo Durocher
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            One night at Cheers, Cliff Calvin explained the" Buffalo Theory"
to his buddy Norm:

"Well, ya see, Norm, it's like this.  A herd of buffalo can only
move as fast as the slowest buffalo.  And when the herd is hunted, it is
the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This
natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general
speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular
killing of the weakest members! In much the same way, the human brain
can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells.  Excessive intake
of alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells.  But naturally, it attacks
the slowest and weakest brain cells first.  In this way, regular
consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain
a faster and more efficient machine!  That's why you always feel smarter
after a few beers.."